Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
