O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Such a big mess for such a small penis
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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