he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize