hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
