So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
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I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
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Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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