So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
