Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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