so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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