He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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