Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
