I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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