I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
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Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
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Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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