If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
