is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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