We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
