she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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