If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
