My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
