You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
How external is "for external use only"?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
