did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
