I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
PANTIES FOUND
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
