Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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