Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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