My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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