He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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