Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
