Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
