Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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