I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
