Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
