Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
