maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Randomize
