I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
