just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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