carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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