GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize