I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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