im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
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