worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
