We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
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Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
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