im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
