i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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