dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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