Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
