i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
