We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
two words...techno handjob
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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