so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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