everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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