Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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