He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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