seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
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