He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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