You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
