I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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