i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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