Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
