Have some text gold?

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  • @ whatever GUY wrote this text message: no. no, i don't.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 7, 09 at 7:34pm
  • not going to lie, I've totally thought that before, but never actually done it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 7, 09 at 8:38pm
  • 1. You obviously have no vagina 2. You obviously have never seen a cock and vegetable from a woman's perspective 3. Lucky you

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 7, 09 at 7:07pm
  • Mmmm squash curves just right!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 29, 09 at 1:52am
  • 7:06 and 7:21 that scared the crap out of me i'm not sticking anything up there unless God or the manufacturer lable meant it to be there

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 7, 09 at 7:26pm
  • yeah dude, why the fuck would you cut the leaves off first?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 7, 09 at 7:32pm
  • thats fucking disgusting 7:29

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 7, 09 at 7:30pm
  • 9:36PM- i heard a similar story to that...its very dangerous putting objects up your vagina that aren't supposed to go there...i'll stick to the real thing =)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 8, 09 at 1:51pm
  • Ahh NO!!

    Submitted by monicaluv on Jan 27, 11 at 10:48pm
  • All the time.

    Submitted by ok_comp on Aug 13, 10 at 11:19am
  • @ 7:26 : Glad to know the first thing you think of before holding your sausage hostage is God.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 7, 09 at 7:27pm
  • Keep things that could potentially break off and get stuck out of the vagina, please.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 7, 09 at 8:06pm
  • I think a guy wrote this too.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 7, 09 at 6:37pm
  • Ear of corn, the texture is amazing

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 22, 09 at 11:04pm
  • mmm i love a nice cucumber

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 7, 09 at 6:38pm
  • its too easy to say anything to this one

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 8, 09 at 7:14pm
  • If she knows what's good for her, she wouldn't. That could actually make small cuts in the vagina which is enough to kill a girl.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 7, 09 at 7:06pm
  • so dicks and sex toys aren't enough for today's whores, eh?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 7, 09 at 8:29pm
  • YES.

    Submitted by AnnArbor on Jan 12, 10 at 8:42pm
  • A guy had to write that! That just shows how stupid they are. He's probably 13.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 7, 09 at 7:00pm
  • 7:26pm - God made some vegetables shaped like penises. He wants us to be resourceful. Besides any girl knows that dildos are fricken expensive. Zuchinni at the grocery store,about $1. You do what you have to.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 8, 09 at 2:45am
  • lol. my ex used to peel a large carrot, soak it in warm water then dildo herself stupid with it

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 7, 09 at 8:17pm
  • A girl in my school did that with a cucumber.. It broke off and she went to hospital. Fuckking stupid

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 3:31am
  • funny, at 8:29 but dudes can fuck pocket pussy's cause thats WAY better. at least people will think youre just fuckin a flashlight. hahaha. great movie.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 7, 09 at 9:34pm
  • If I had a vagina I would think this

    Submitted by sidman on Oct 11, 10 at 6:45am
  • A girl on 1000 ways to die cut her va.jay.jay open with a shaved carrot...o.o...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 17, 10 at 8:18am
  • One time on vacation I didn't have a dildo, so while I was at the market I saw a Chinese Eggplant, it looks like one of those curved-tip-dildos, it worked pretty well, but goes limp in a few hours. Also last summer we had Japanese Cucumbers growing in our backyard, and I used those too. Yes I washed them, and no I didn't die because air went to my heart.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 12:35am
  • obviously you have never watched 1000 ways to die 8:38...a woman bought a carrot, washed it then peeled it...began using it as a dildo and then it cut her vaginal wall and air went into her heart and she died...my suggestion...stick with the real thing

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 7, 09 at 9:36pm
  • get a good size zuchinni or a cucumber and throw a condom over that bad boy and you are all set.... the 1000 ways to die is stupit you can cut your self with your own fingernail if you keep them long it isn't just veggies that you need to look out for

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 10, 09 at 10:58pm
  • not vegtables, but dicks..yeah i think that about my boyfriend's vag stabber

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 8, 09 at 5:06am
  • Way to represent, Oakland county.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 5, 10 at 3:38pm
  • This girl in my high school lost a hot dog that way. Had to go to the hospital and everywhere

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 4, 09 at 5:31am
  • who said i problems with freshness? have your own issues on mind eh?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 7, 09 at 8:04pm
  • omg fuck whoever said lauren

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 8, 09 at 6:30pm
  • I have totally thought about that! but never have done it. A cucumber is TOO big. no thank you! Btw a girl definitely posted this. and if i was a guy id totally think about a vaccuum

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 10, 09 at 11:17am
  • 5:31, the same happened to a girl in my house school. Creepy. 0.0

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 11:52pm
  • Cunts bleed all the time.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 12, 09 at 7:16pm
  • one time i cut the leaves off a pineapple and then proceeded to squat on the whole thing! it made my vag bleed but it felt amazing

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 7, 09 at 7:29pm