we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize