I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize