Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
