Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
