She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
